I Can't Get No.....

Yeah, you know how the song goes, I can't get no satisfaction (hum along if you please....)

This is a tale of woe, a tale of one woman's search for a vibrator compatible with her body.

Recently my most favorite vibrator quit. No two weeks notice, no explanation, no weepy good bye's, it just up and quit on me. I tried to tell myself that I didn't need him, that I was fine all by myself, but I knew even as I said those words that I was lying.

And so the search began. I tried to find the exact same model only to be told time and time again that it was no longer available- the manufacturer had discontinued the item. Well, I believed I could dig deep enough as to uncover a hidden stash of my beloved friend. I found a place online who assured me that they had 6 in stock. I immediately ordered one and waited. And waited, and waited, I'll spare you anymore suspense and cut to the part where I finally receive a package and........ it's the wrong one. I got ahold of the company to demand an explanation only to be told "well, we've been trying to contact you (yeah right) to tell you that we were mistaken, that product is no longer available." Crap. And so the search resumed, I find another place who tells me with brazen confidence that they currently have 60 in stock. The cost is higher than any of the other places but I am after all desperate and so I order two. After a couple of days my package arrives, with fresh batteries in hand I rip open the box to find.................two vibrators..............that are the same as the other one I was erroneously sent before from the first company. So now I have three of the same wrong vibrator. The conclusion to this story of the pile of unloved vibrators is that the one that I had become so dependant upon is not manufactured any longer and that they are producing another vibrator with the exact same item number.

Give up?
No way.

So, I decided I need to be open minded and find a new partner. After much deliberation and reading of product reviews I find what I am to understand is the Cadillac of vibrators and I think to myself that it better be for the $$$ they want for this thing. But it's non toxic (which is a big concern, most vibrators are made of some pretty scary stuff- you'd be surprised, do some reading you'll see what I mean) and it boasted a need for four batteries which tells me that it's got some power. Well, I resign myself to forking over money that I can't really, shouldn't really be spending on a device whose only function is to provide me with sweet sweet orgasms and order the Cadillac.

Flash forward to yesterday when I could really use some private time with just such a device to find that it's arrived, it's here!!! Oh joy! I'm ready to be wowed. And for it's first run? Not impressed. For one thing I thought the dick part (or shaft if you are going to be mature about it) would be bigger. The clit vibrator part is in the wrong spot in relation to my personal physique. But, I am going to try, try again. I'm not giving up. Maybe it's merely a issue of re-training my body to respond to a different stimulus. One thing this experience taught me is that a girl mustn't get too attached to a specific vibrator. I might be monogamous in my love life but the vibrator will be a revolving cast (hopefully) in the future. I'll keep you up to date on any further developments....